In case you're wondering, a nymphomaniac is a woman who has excessive sexual desires all the time. Such a woman can never be completely sexually satisfied, and needs constant action! In other words, just our sort of woman!

Here are the funniest jokes and one-liners about nymphos we could find. And in case this offends feminists, we're going to feature "jokes about horny men" next week!


Why is a nymphomaniac like railroad tracks?
She's been laid all over the country.


Why does a nymphomaniac close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.


What's the difference between jelly and a nymphomaniac?
Jelly wiggles when you eat it.


What's the difference between a nymphomaniac and a barracuda when they're both horny?
Nail polish.


How do you prevent a nymphomaniac from having sex?
Marry her.


Whats the difference between a nymphomaniac and a broom closet?
Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at once


What's the difference between a public telephone and a nymphomaniac?
You don't need change for the nymphomaniac.


What's the difference between a nymphomaniac and garbage?
The nymphomaniac attracts more flies.


What's the difference between a nymphomaniac and a vacuum cleaner?
Nothing. They both suck.


How do you get four nymphomaniacs on one chair?
Tell them there's a rich guy sitting on it.


Why does a nymphomaniac wear underwear?
To keep her ankles warm.


What's the difference between a nymphomaniac and a Rolls Royce?
Not everybody has been in a Rolls Royce.


What does the Bermuda Triangle and nymphomaniacs have in common?
They both swallow sea men.


-Picture courtesy Thinkstock-

humour, jokes, nymphomaniacs, sex, babes

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