It's not hard to reason this one but you migh...
Cricket doesn't just evoke joy, disappointment, and heated rivalries. It can be a source of laughter too!
Do It This Way
The standard of batting in the local side was very low. Even at the net practice, they couldn't hit a thing. Finally, the captain rushed forward and grabbed the bat.
"Now bowl me some fast ones," he yelled. Six fast balls came down in quick succession and the captain missed them all. Not to be put off, he glared at the team and shouted,
"That's what you're all doing. Now get in there and hit them!"
Grounds For Divorce
There was once a cricket enthusiast who would travel any distance to watch a match. Absolutely nothing could keep him from the game he loved. One day, a friend met him and said, "You're looking a bit down."
The man replied, "The wife said she's going to divorce me."
"On what grounds?"
"You mean Headingly, Edgbaston, Lord's...?"
A bowler was up against a stonewaller who never moved his bat. Every ball either hit the bat or passed harmlessly by, no stroke being offered by the defensive batsman.
The bowler turned to the umpire and asked, "Is he out if he doesn't move his bat?"
"No," said the umpire "but he will be if he does!"
Shut Up and Bowl
The batsman was leading a charmed life. Three appeals for lbw were turned down and he'd been bowled twice only to hear a no-ball called each of those times.
Finally, the bowler sent down a perfect ball, which took two stumps out of the ground. The bowler looked at him and asked, "Why aren't you leaving?"
The batsman replied, "There's still one stump standing. Now shut up and bowl!"
University Grudge Match
The university team was a man short for their grudge match with the rival college.
"Listen," said the captain, "as long as he doesn't speak to anyone, we could use the blacksmith. He's a marvellous player."
So they rigged out the smith in college colours and he destroyed the opposition, taking eight wickets for ten runs. Afterwards, in the bar, the rival captain came up to him and said, "I say, old man, that was a terrific performance. Tell me, what are you studying at the University?"
The blacksmith had no idea what to say. He thought back to his last school memory, then said brightly, "Oh you know, sums. Addition, subtraction--and we learned long division last week!"
Read Indian Cricket Jokes here.
-Picture courtesy Thinkstock-
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