It's not hard to reason this one but you migh...
An Uncomfortable Announcement
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax..OH MY GOD!"
Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back o the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in economy class said to his companion, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool over the radio. So while approaching the runway during his first nighttime landing, he said "Guess who?" to the control tower instead of following the official protocol.
The controller switched the runway lights off and replied, "Guess where?"
Parrot on the Plane
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky, you cow!" The flight attendant, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and yells, "And get me another whisky, you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such shoddy service, the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee--go and get it now or I'll smack you," he says to the flight attendant.
The next thing he knows, both he and the parrot have been picked up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards, the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly, you sure do complain a lot!"
Conditions are tricky for a landing and with considerable skill, the pilot manages to wrestle the plane onto the runway. The landing is particularly bumpy, and the pilot heads out to say goodbye to passengers as they disembark.
Most of them are grateful for the safe landing, but one irate-looking old lady storms up to him. "Young man," she says, "Tell me. Was that supposed to be a landing or were we shot down?"
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that the visibility is only 40 feet, and his instruments have stopped working. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, is low on fuel and his passengers are getting very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog, he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor.
Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window, "Hey, where am I?" The solitary office worker replies, "You're in an airplane."
The pilot immediately executes a swift 275-degree turn and makes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die as the fuel runs out.
The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that he must be from Microsoft's support office. I knew where the airport was in relation to that office, so the landing was a piece of cake!"
-Pictures courtesy Thinkstock-
you might also like
With Skyfall, director Sam Mendes mixes the old an...
If Bollywood ever went down the 007 agent route, w...