The Umpire

The captain of the Indian team says to the Umpire, "My players want to know if there is a penalty for thinking?”

The Umpire immediately says, "No."

The captain says, "Well in hat case, we think you're an asshole."

Performance Skills

Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?

A: In advertisements

Little Sidhu

Sidhu during his school days:

Teacher: Correct the sentence: ‘A bull and a cow is grazing in the field’

Young Sidhu: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.

Teacher: How is that right?

Young Sidhu: Ladies first! 

Gender Bias

Teacher: Is Ashish Nehra male Or female? 

Student: Female 

Teacher: How? 

Student: The commentator just said "What a beautiful delivery By Ashish Nehra!"

Divorce Court Drama

The Judge asks the little girl, “Now that your parents are getting divorced, do you want to live with your mummy?

She replies saying, “No, my mummy beats me.”

“Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.” Once again, she replies saying, “No, my daddy beats me too.”

The judge is perplexed. “Well then, who do you want to live with?”

She immediately responds, “I want to live with the Indian Cricket team when they're touring; they never beat anybody!”

Ganguly One-liners

Q: When would Ganguly have 100 runs against his name?

A: When he is bowling.

Q: What is the height of optimism ?

A: Ganguly applying sunscreen on his face before coming out to bat.

In-law Woes

A newly-married cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her. 

At the crease, he turned to the wicket-keeper and said 'I'm anxious to do well and really smack this ball. That's my wife's mother over there.'  

'Don't be silly,' said the wicket-keeper. 'This is a huge ground; you'll never be able to hit her.'

-Pictures courtesy Reuters-

cricket, humour, ganguly, jokes, India

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