It's not hard to reason this one but you migh...
At the Olympic Games, Rhoda meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.
'Excuse me,' says Rhoda to the man. 'Are you a pole vaulter?'
'No,' says the man, 'I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?'
There was a heat for the 200m Olympic women's breaststroke, and the eight women who entered the race were named Emily (Aus), Maggie (Nz), Liz (Aus), Jean (USA), Alice (Can), Wanda (Ger), Tina (Rom) and Rose (England).
After approximately 2 minutes and 10 seconds, Emily won the race; 5 seconds later, Maggie was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 40 minutes later, Rose finally completed the race.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, 'I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms.'
Funny Olympic Commentating Howlers
- In the 1976 Montreal Olympics, Cuba's Alberto Juantorena won the 400 and 800m gold medal. While describing the 800m race, David Coleman said: 'And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class'.
- That's the fastest time ever run; but it's not as fast as the world record.
- Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition does not like it. In fact, you can see it all over their faces."
- Watch the time; it gives you an indication of just how fast they are running.
One World, One Dream
At a recent press conference, a reporter asked the chairman of the Chinese Olympic Committee about China's Olympic slogan, "One world, one dream."
"As recently as ten years ago," said the reporter, "Chinese leaders expressed their plans to spread Communism throughout the world by the use of force. How do you respond to critics who believe the 'one world' idea in the Olympic slogan sounds like a plan for world conquest?"
"That's ridiculous," said the Chinese spokesman. "'One world' simply refers to the fact that the entire world is gathering together in Beijing for the Olympics. It's a statement of unity. Any suggestion that China is trying to conquer the world is absurd."
"And what about the 'one dream' part of the slogan?" asked the reporter. "What is the dream?"
"A utopian society founded on Marxist principles, of course."
President Bush and the Olympics
White house aide: Mr. President, I just noticed a conflict on your calendar for August 2008. You promised to attend the closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics on August 24, but you are scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention only one week later. If you attend the Olympics, you won't have time to prepare for the Convention.
President Bush: I guess I can't attend both events then. But we have to do what's best for the Party. This year's Republican National Convention must show the American people that Republicans are intelligent and capable. The whole Convention needs to be presented as a gathering of successful leaders.
Aide: All right, then. I'll let Beijing know you're coming.
Read more Jokes About the Olympics here.
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