It's not hard to reason this one but you migh...
Malti Bhojwani is a certified life coach who offers her services at Multi Coaching International. In addition to teaching clients how to deal with negative people, she's helped scores of corporates, educational institutes, and individuals better themselves using her unique coaching techniques. She's also on Guylife's expert panel; begin the process of self-improvement by asking her a question.
I will refrain from labeling people as ‘negative’ as in my experience, I have learnt that nobody is truly negative. Most of the time it is your own perspective that frames them as such and just because someone is going through a phase where perhaps they are not feeling very empowered, it does not mean that this encapsulates their entire being.
Sometimes, it is just a matter of changing the frame or the box you put them in and then changing the lenses through which you view them.
It could also be as simple as the fact that there is no rapport between this person and yourself and if this relationship causes you more strife than good--or is draining you emotionally or physically--then perhaps you could cut them out from your world or minimize contact as much as possible.
Failing that, here are 5 ways in which you can deal with such people effectively:
Watch your Language
Eliminate gossip, complaining, judging and drawing comparisons from your conversations. Here’s why:
-Nothing good comes out of gossip. It is the sort of conversation that will only pull you into negativity. When you partake in gossip, you will inevitably have to take sides and therefore end up putting someone down whether or not that was your original intention.
-Complaining will only attract more people to complain to and you will all sit around and build a whole world of things to complain about--from management, traffic, and weather to taxes and colleagues. This will rob you of much-needed positivity, also also attract like-minded people to you and build a "zone of negativity" around you
-Comparing yourself to other people only implies that you are comparing the inside of you to the outside of them, which is absolutely groundless. When you judge, you are coming from a “I am better than you” place. Keep in mind that you have no clue what the other person’s life or perspective is and judging is inherently negative.
Show Kindness and Respect
“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.”
People will treat you the way you let them treat you. When you show appreciation and reward them for treating you with respect, you will be reinforcing that behavior and can expect more of it. But when you allow or tolerate being disregarded and disrespected, then you can also expect more of that.
Listen to these so-called “negative people” and see what happens if you start to treat them with some kindness and respect; this should change the way they treat you.
Be Confident and Don’t Seek External Approval
Know that you are fabulous and don’t let others' opinions bother you. Be confident enough to stand tall and strong with your own opinions and decisions; that way you will not be affected by anyone, positive or negative.
Be Grateful for the Feedback
Think about what was really said to you by the negative person that rubbed you the wrong way and pick one thing that may have been a true statement. Take it as feedback and improve on it.
This will sound a little challenging, but thank them inside, for they created an opportunity for more introspection, more work, maybe more research and more learning and improvement for you! Isn't that great?
Pour Some Sugar on It
Shine some of your positivity on the situation. If someone is discouraging you or saying something just won’t work, ask them what it would be like if it does work. If you are truly annoyed with them and want to irritate them further, nothing will do it better than being even more optimistic!
If all of the above fail and you still continue to feel like your mental well-being is being sucked out by an emotional Dracula, then you will have to find ways to limit contact with them, or at least avoid being alone with them. They may be easier to handle in fewer and smaller doses. Good luck!
-Pictures courtesy Thinkstock-
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